About

My parents like to recall how skeptical they were that I would stick with the violin in the early years. I hadn’t had any exposure to classical music up to that point, and nobody in my immediate family was very musically inclined. But I loved it. And despite occasional lapses in practice, I persevered through the sometimes-tedious years of early learning (when you can hear beautiful sounds in your head but can’t quite create them yet). I still remember the moment, in middle school, when all of the hours of practice finally paid off and something clicked. I had advanced enough that I was finally able to hear all that I could do, that I might do, with practice.

It was as though a new world of expressiveness and artistry had been unlocked. Chasing the sound that I want to hear has been what’s kept me going all of these years. I find there is something both deeply motivating and deeply rewarding about always striving for new heights.

But even as I grew musically, I never seriously considered auditioning for conservatory. It always seemed there were more “practical” paths to follow, and I was intimidated by how hard it would be to “make it” as a professional musician. But even as I pursued other studies, music remained a central part of my life. I continued practicing and taking lessons, and played an active role in campus ensembles wherever my studies took me.

While working my first jobs the days got busier and music became a less-central part of my life. I still played in community orchestras, but my practice time was down and I could feel some of my technique slipping. It was hard, and so discouraging to feel like I was losing ground after all the time and effort I’d dedicated to playing the violin at a high level. I started to wonder what my life would have been like had I gone to music school and chastised myself that now it was “too late” to have any kind of career in music.

Then I got married, the Covid-19 pandemic hit, and I had my first child. I stepped away from orchestral playing in the face of a socially distanced world, and practicing took a back seat as daily life got busier. But despite the many joys in my life, I knew that something wasn’t right. I still didn’t see music as a viable or realistic career option, so I found another way to bring it back into my life. I decided to do something that I had always wanted to: learn how to play the piano.

That experience proved to be a turning point in my life. I found a wonderful teacher and mentor who was endlessly patient and encouraging. Her clear love for and dedication to music reminded me of all that I was missing. I had been searching for meaning in my career for many years and hadn’t ever found it. I had believed that it was “too late” for me to make any kind of career out of music. I was convinced that making a change was impossible. But suddenly, strangely, with the world turned upside-down by Covid, and with a new baby in my life, my priorities shifted and anything seemed possible.

I started taking music education courses at Gordon College, found a wonderful new violin teacher to give me some “boot camp” lessons, joined a local orchestra, and haven’t looked back. I don’t know where this path will ultimately lead, but with every step I am sure that I’m finally on the right one.